Pained Expression


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09.17.04 (4:36 pm)   [edit]

I know not what to feel anymore, I know not what to think either. It is as if the world is spinny so fast that I can't move my legs to take a step.


I guess it all started when I fell in love. It came slowly, and I knew it was coming. Then without warning, it ended. The most painful ending any love could ever have. Lie, deciet, and death...
 
09.13.04 (3:03 pm)   [edit]

It strange sometimes, how people don't want to be judged yet they are the first in line to judge another. How teachers say they won't grade hard, but they do. Or people lie to you when they promise that they never will. You catch them, and almost immediately you think of payback.


I just want to know, why the world is like it is. And why so many are afraid of change.
 
09.11.04 (5:01 am)   [edit]
I woke up this morning, to a trumpet sounding upstairs. It took me a moment to realize, that it was in honor of those who had died three years ago. I dashed up the stairs at  6:46 to watch the TV, and see what was happening. The memory came back to me, sitting there, lonely in my math room. The TV on and watching the second plane crash in the majestic building. The memory of me, trying not to cry, as I knew my mother would be at that moment.

 

Now, three years later, I struggle with the same thing, not crying. It was a painful day and everyone who can feel, saw that in the people of America. The firefighters who so bravely entered the towers one by one, saving whom they could, most losing their lives when the buildings collapsed into seven floors, a heep of nothing, of trash on the ground. Yet this trash, that was piled on the ground, meant so much to us, that tears spilled down our cheeks.

 

You cannot tell me that it was our fault, and you cannot tell me that they deserve to die for doing it. But you can tell me, that this day, three years ago, was the day that the whole world cried.
 
09.06.04 (11:29 am)   [edit]

    It's raining, big drops falling on the windsheild in the early morning. It is still dark outside, I can't help but notice that no one is around. The windshield wipers go back and forth clearing a place for me to see as I drive down the street.
    I'm going to see him, it is time for me to ask him; and I will not be afriad. I pull up in his driveway, as I park my car and breathe deep. I'm only sixteen years old, but I'm ready. I walk to the front door as the sun begins to rise and knock gently.
    No answer, I know he's home, I called him last night, so if something unexpected just suddenly happened, then he should be here. I knock again, only louder this time and hear his thumping footsteps.
    He came to the door, "yeah?" he asked, grumpily.
    "Father, why did you sexually abuse me as a baby?"
    "What," he said.
    I took a long deep breath, "Why did you molest me as a child?"
    "These are more damned lies that your mother told you, shit, I knew better than to let you stay with her. Now she's corrupted you. I should have taken you back when I had the chance."
    With that a turned around and walked back to the car. I left his house and his life and my memories and hate for him there. I forgave him, and that was all I needed to do. I realize this, now that I'm an adult and have children of my own. I just needed to forgive him.